I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize