best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
