The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
