HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
