Sry I called you an 8
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize