When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
