Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize