you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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