i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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