do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize