I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
