We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
