just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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