he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
