I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
