96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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