He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
