You're so nebulous sometimes
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
