Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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