At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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