after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
only if we run a train.
done.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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