Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
