We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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