...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
