I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
