I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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