i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
