Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
