you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
