There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
