You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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