I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ugly people sure do ruin things
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
