He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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