I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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