I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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