"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
