Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
