Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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