my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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