I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
