He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
