I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
