Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
