I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm too high and old for this...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
