he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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