I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
