put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
