Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
