I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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