I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm getting married
To pizza
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
