its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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