so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
