i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it was like eating out sand paper
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
