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I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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