I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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