i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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