Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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