Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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