sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
