you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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