It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
