I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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