if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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