He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
