i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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