it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
