he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
