okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
