I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize