No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
