I have demons in me.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
