he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
