Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
