I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
