ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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