just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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